LOL. I always excused his meanness and putdowns by thinking he must not be truly happy in his life and if he could just see that, he’d a) stop and aim to be TRULY happy b) stop being mean to me and c) it would be all because I taught him that he didn’t have to be so angry and mean. I called the boyf the day after our date instead of waiting by the phone for him. Lastly, i still applaud you for being honest which I believe is the first step in recovery. You can find techniques on this site to help. Or at least it should be 50 50 so I wouldn’t ask him out twice. Any normal man/woman would laugh at this stupid reasons, and would walk away and close the door. I recently cut things off again and he texts me the other night to say he misses me. Thank you ladies for the feedback! What I’ll usually do is make one last contact, making clear I’m interested in hearing from them soon, and then I stop. Good people don’t use others for their own ends. It’s got nothing to do with being single, it’s him saying “how dare you be getting on with your life, eating on your own lol, travelling without me!” Wise up that’s the voice of jealousy! Find more ways to say matching, along with related words, antonyms and example phrases at, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. Really Josie!?? He was going to be with me forever, even if i became ill he would always look after me. At this point, I had to grow a backbone and say to her, “No thanks, I’m just not interested in him.” She was convinced that he could have morphed into Ideal Boyfriend. He isn’t thinking about what is best for you. Assumptions you had made at the beginning of the process turned out to be incorrect. I was completely thrown off, because who DOES things like that? The enthusiasm you and the vendor had at the beginning of the process was gone, and in its place were raw nerves, legitimate concerns, and a lot of haggling over “what we must do, now that we know what we didn’t know before.”, This is, unfortunately, a very common state of affairs in any complex sale. Those younger versions that you blame for old hurts and losses need your forgiveness. Of course they should listen to words such as “I am not ready for a relationship”, but it’s hard when there’s loads of chemistry and you guys seem perfect together. Did I flush her ass YOU BET! By tying your worth and what you think will happen to how much you can basically influence and control other people’s feelings and behaviour, you’re set up for perpetual disappointment, leaving you veering between feeling that nothing is ever enough and struggling to enjoy any success due to anxiety about what’s next. We can't pay bills, end suffering or own our responsibilities with ‘good intentions’. I know what you mean. It helped me to read a response (I think from Natalie) saying that, unlike those girls at school, her ex AC hadn’t behaved the way he did to humiliate her, it was to get his needs met. Yes, it often means that you go through a phase of wondering if you're the crazy one or the effects of them trying to destroy you, but rest assured: they always fall eventually because they overplay their hand. My ex-husband did things like having a drinking buddy call me pretending to be a cop, and telling me that the ex had been in a fatal accident. I agree with Natasha that at this stage I’d say nothing and see what he does which in this case is nothing. Some people will be and do things to advance their self-interest while claiming that it’s good for you or that you should be cool with it. And the romantic periods are the poison which kept us around the jerks. You’ve gotta feel to heal. Do you think it’s the same with friends too? I would have married the EUM (I’m pretty sure I would have) – he didn’t want to marry me back! But please remember that feeling hopeless is indeed a feeling, and it will pass, and you will feel hopeful again. We got together on a vacation with friends but we lived in different places so I never brought up a relationship as it wasn’t an option. Hey Fallback Girls and Other Women, what do you expect us to do now? – who exactly is it I am suppsed to want to be married to? I met a guy who refused to tell me his age. Of course, it’s now pretty obvious to me that a MM’s words do not ever match his actions. Because it causes you to really feel like a steaming pile has been unloaded on you when someone does that. Not sure if this will add or detract – hehe! I totally have moments where meeting someone and settling down sounds like The Impossible Dream, so it’s not just you. 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